Living with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder: Emily Blout’s Experience

A woman who experiences significant mood and personality changes for almost half of each month has shared her story of living with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Emily Blout, residing in Washington, D.C., has managed this severe hormone-related mood disorder since she started menstruating at 15. Now 42, Blout explains, “For 12 to 14 days of every month, I transform into another version of myself.”

She describes these days as a period where her naturally positive demeanor becomes overshadowed by sadness, anger, and confusion. Blout finds herself inexplicably emotional, snapping at her family, and struggling to concentrate.

Understanding PMDD Symptoms

According to the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPD), approximately 5% of women are affected by PMDD. Symptoms typically appear before a woman’s period and subside shortly after it begins. They are linked to the brain’s response to normal hormonal fluctuations.

The IAPD lists several symptoms, including:

• Emotional and mood disturbances
• Fatigue and low energy
• Changes in behavior and appetite
• Feelings of losing control

A Challenging Emotional Journey

Blout experiences intense emotional upheaval in the two weeks preceding her period. She recalls deep anger, stating, “I once felt so angry with my husband during a trip to London that I booked a separate $2,000 flight home.” This anger lifts suddenly, leaving her surprised by her actions.

She also faces overwhelming sadness. Blout experiences what she calls “stupid sadness,” where even a Disney movie triggers uncontrollable tears. A deeper sadness hinders her daily activities and is often coupled with mental fog.

Blout recounts an incident last year when confusion led her to run a red light while driving, resulting in a car accident.

Seeking Effective Treatment

After trying various treatments—including antidepressants and antipsychotic medication following a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder—Blout sought relief through Lupron (leuprolide acetate). This hormone therapy suppresses the production of estrogen and testosterone, placing her into a chemical menopause but halting PMDD symptoms.

Blout expresses relief, noting, “I now understand what having a normal life is like. Everything has improved, and my sons have their mother back.” Yet, she acknowledges that her children were aware of her struggles.

Decisions and Uncertainties

Currently, Blout faces a tough choice between undergoing surgery to remove certain reproductive organs or trying new experimental drugs to keep her symptoms at bay.

She explains, “I’ve explored all options, from antidepressants to birth control and therapy.” Blout and her husband have reached a point where they feel overwhelmed.

She has consulted with a surgeon about possibly removing her ovaries and fallopian tubes. However, knowing that early surgery might increase the risk of memory issues or dementia, Blout hesitates.

At present, she feels she’s in a holding pattern, awaiting natural menopause. Blout comments on the broader issue, “Women with PMDD often end up experimenting on ourselves. Research funding is lacking for developing effective treatments or a cure.”