Seeking Answers About Her Past

Zoë Reback, a 25-year-old living in North Carolina, was adopted as a baby from Vietnam. Though raised by a loving family, questions about her origins persisted throughout her life. Recently, she has begun uncovering some answers, though not all are what she desired.

Growing up in a wealthy suburban area in New Jersey, Zoë’s adoptive parents provided her with a nurturing environment. Despite this, she was acutely aware of her adoption. Her mother disclosed her Vietnamese origins when she was young, but the knowledge of being one of few non-white children in her community always lingered.

On family vacations, brings a friend, often white, increased her feelings of not fitting in with her own family due to differing appearances. The cruelty of peers, who made racial jokes and questioned her birth mother’s love, added to her struggles. Although her parents had four biological children, her siblings were older and away by the time she was eight. Her parents’ separation compounded her sense of isolation, making inquiries about her birth mother seem inappropriate.

Dealing with the trauma of her parents’ separation and feeling detached, Zoë entered therapy at age six, later receiving diagnoses of depression and anxiety in middle school. Her sense of difference was profound, driving her to build emotional barriers and refrain from discussing her adoption.

During the pandemic, Zoë discovered an adoption file that included her birth mother’s name, “Tran Thi My Trang.” Although she was initially startled, she set the document aside to protect her adoptive mother’s feelings. For years, she silently contemplated finding her birth mother.

In April, revisiting the file revealed a police report stating her birth mother used a false name when relinquishing her. This revelation was both disheartening and thought-provoking. Zoë wondered about her birth mother’s motives and felt a mix of defeat and sorrow.

Her exploration into the file initiated conversations with her adoptive mother, who explained the commonality of providing fake names in Vietnam. Despite feeling discouraged upon learning her belief was based on a lie, Zoë remains hopeful. She has recently ordered a DNA kit, seeking the truth about her origins.

Regardless of the results, Zoë is prepared for any outcome. Her primary longing is to know her birth mother’s appearance and history. With a supportive mother and father, she feels loved. No longer holding tightly to a name, she now anticipates discovering her real lineage.